


And now you're gone...

by christinchen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinchen/pseuds/christinchen
Summary: Rey dealing with the grief of losing Leia





	And now you're gone...

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this late year shortly after Carrie Fisher had died. I've tried to come back and finish this, turn it into an actual story a couple of times. It's just not happening... I figured today was as good a day to post this as any.

There were no word to describe what she was feeling. Not any that she knew anyways. Maybe there were words in another language that she didn’t speak. 

The people around her were sad. Devastated. Angry. They were crying. Sobbing. Some even yelling. She remembered the sadness she had felt when Han had been killed. The anger she had felt. But this was different. 

Han had been her friend in a way. She had looked up to him. And he had been killed by a person. Someone she could be angry at. Someone she had been able to fight. 

Losing the General. Losing Leia. It was different. And Rey didn’t know what to do with this thing she was feeling. 

There was a tight knot in her chest making it hard to breathe. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. She felt stuck. She felt lost. She felt… something. 

She wasn’t sad. She was… empty. Uncomprehending. She wasn’t angry. There was no one to be angry at. Poe had said she had died of a broken heart. But Rey had thought that General Organa had been too tough for that. But maybe Leia hadn’t been as tough. 

It had been days now since she had first been told. Had first heard it from a passing soldier. A out of context “Princess Leia died.” Princess? She had never been a princess to Rey. Always a General. Except when she had taken her uniform off and sat down with them for tea and to talk about pointless things. About Rey’s life before she came here. About her childhood. About Finn. Their friendship. 

Those conversations seemed precious now. She had always been a leader. Always been strong. Always composed. 

Rey couldn’t imagine that she was now just… gone. Forever. Not coming back. 

And just like that the tears came and the sadness came. And Rey was crying and was sobbing. 

Rey wished that Finn would come hug her again, like he had after they had all found out. But she hadn’t been sad then. For three long days she hadn’t been sad. She had been empty. She hadn’t understood.

Grief was odd, Rey found. It came crashing down on her, left after an hour or two. And just when she had washed her face, drank some water and was starting to feel almost normal again, it came again, crashing down on her like a wave. Like an ocean of waves, coming and going but never ending. 

She saw the others move on. Saw them sometimes get a particularly sad look in their eyes. Heard them say “She would have liked that”. But it got less and less. Life moved on. The world kept turning. It kept turning without General Organa in it. Without Leia in it.

**Author's Note:**

> Rest in peace space mom. You are missed.


End file.
